


Ministrations

by desreelee123



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dark, F/M, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Post-Canon, Rating May Change, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-08 12:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5496347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desreelee123/pseuds/desreelee123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A smile forms on Kylo Ren’s lips as a dangerous idea crosses his mind. It widens as the idea begins to take shape and materialize into a thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I

            There is a brutal honesty in her eyes as she stares him down, angry and furious and challenging all at once. The blue hue of his Uncle’s lightsaber casts an ethereal glow to her face, making her look god-like and powerful and she has never looked farthest from the skinny orphan scavenger she used to be from Jakku. He has to remind himself that she is his enemy right now, his foe. (A distant part of him hopes that it won't be so for long though.) Blood drips constantly onto the white sheet of snow that surrounds him from an untreated wound he doesn't remember getting. That does not hinder him though. It is but a wound, after all.

            Snow drops down from the sky like volcanic ash and there is the faint sound of a sizzle as those flakes make contact with his lightsaber. She charges forward and her movements are surprisingly precise for someone as inexperienced as she. Red clashes with blue and tall, firm trees fall down as they duel. It is an elaborate dance of grace and fury. He steps to the left, she steps to the right, he swings, she blocks. Not before long, a thin sheen of sweat forms on her brow from exertion and he can see just how draining this is for her. She may be skilled with the Force but the fact still remains that she is untrained.

            Something in him stirs as he blocks another one of her swings, something long buried and forgotten.

            The earth shakes and neither one of them pay attention to the sudden tremor, too engrossed in their own world of red and blue to notice. She is panting now and the thin sheen of sweat on her brow has become a pool. He backs her to a cliff, just inches away from falling. It would be so easy to level a few well-aimed swings at her and catch her off-balance but he does not want to. Kylo Ren does not want to kill her.

            That, in and of itself, does not come as a surprise to him. She has captivated him ever since that time in the interrogation room when she used her untapped skill in the Force to access his thoughts when he should’ve been accessing hers. It terrified him at the time, infuriated him even that someone could’ve caught him off guard in such a crucial interrogation.

            But there was just something about this certain scavenger from Jakku—Rey, he found out that was definitely worth his time. There is a certain type of loneliness and longing in her eyes that feels so familiar to him and he suddenly remembers all the emotions he used to feel before Lord Snoke showed him the futility of it all.

            “I can train you,” Kylo Ren says desperately, just on the cusp of begging, “I can show you the ways of the Force.”

            Her eyes widen in shock at the fact that he would even deign to make such a proposal. Her grip slackens momentarily and he’s just about to reach out for her when suddenly the earth lets out one shuddering, groaning breath and splits in half. She tears away from him and he almost, almost yanks her with him but she’s agile and by the time he’s had a moment to take a breath, she’s already on the other side and there’s a wide gaping space between the two of them where there used to be land.

            _The Resistance must’ve gotten to the oscillator then,_ he thinks glumly as he looks around him and hears the familiar whirring sound of ships starting up. The girl looks at him one last time from the other side of the gap and then promptly scampers away from the ledge, probably off to find that traitorous stormtrooper friend of hers who he had left dying on the snow just moments ago and all he’s left now is a dull aching in his gut that he can’t quite fathom.

            _This won’t be the last time we’ll be meeting each other Rey. I will make sure of it._

            A smile forms on Kylo Ren’s lips as a dangerous idea crosses his mind. It widens as the idea begins to take shape and materialize into a _thought._


	2. Chapter 2

II

            Kylo Ren is pacing his quarters as they are being transported back to a planet where they’ll be safe while awaiting Snoke’s next orders. He has just received medical attention for the wound he doesn’t even remember getting and frankly nor does he care. The girl is all that is plaguing his thoughts right now and how she looked beautiful during their final moments together on Starkiller Base before the land split them apart from each other. (He _will_ have her, whether she likes it or not and sooner or later, she will also have him.)

Snoke’s next order of business seems important enough as the Lord is flying into the planet personally. (And Kylo can almost imagine the reprimands that he will be taking alongside Hux…if Hux hasn’t weaseled his way out of the whole situation yet.)

            But what he wasn’t expecting was Snoke’s arrival on the planet before them…or the relatively warm welcome they were given. (Despite the fact that they had failed to carry out a very important mission and also managed to fail to protect the jewel of the First Order’s empire at the same time.) Snoke invited him inside his own ship while Hux was ordered to run several errands, probably as a distraction for what is to take place.

            _Stupid snitch,_ he thought as he watched the blonde general go over to the other ships. _Weaseled his way out already no doubt._

            Whatever business is about to take place, it’s only between him and the Lord Snoke.

            Kylo Ren is ushered into a grand study filled with books and relics from all across the Universe, some of which Kylo Ren himself has helped procured. Memorabilia and statues litter the room in a sort of organized chaos that the Lord Snoke is quite fond of. (Hence his obvious affinity to the Dark Side.)

There is a fire burning in the hearth of the room, somehow diffusing a bit of the tension crackling in the air like fireworks.

            “Why do you think I summoned you here?” Snoke asks cryptically and the hairs on the back of Kylo’s neck prickles. Despite all the time he has spent training with the Lord, he still manages to unnerve him so. There’s just something so otherworldly and unordinary about him that Kylo just can’t quite put his finger on.

            “The—the,” he swallows, “the incident on Starkiller Base was most unfortunate.”

            Lord Snoke looks at him, bemused.

            “Is that why you think you’re here?” he asks.

            Kylo looks up in confusion.

            “Is it not?”

            The other just laughs, mirthful and genuinely amused, like he is playing a prank that Kylo isn't aware of.

            “No, it is not,” he eventually confirms. “You’re summoned here because you are about to complete the most important journey that you have made in your entire mortal life. You are here because you only have one last task that remains of you before you reach transcendence.”

            Kylo Ren looks up in surprise. He clearly was not expecting this.

            “And what is that one last task Master?” he asks, remembering his manners and averting his eyes once more.

            “You want,” the Lord says and suddenly he could feel cold tendrils reach inside his thoughts, scouring and clinical. “And you _doubt._ ”

            Kylo Ren sucks in a breath and apologizes.

            “I assure you Lord Snoke that it is nothing but a temporary hitch,” he immediately says and a part of him doubts just how honest he really is being with himself. “Just a small snag in my quest.”

            The Lord sneers at him disdainfully. It has never been wise to utter such a bold-faced lie in front of Lord Snoke.

            “Do not lie to me young knight,” the Lord chastises him, “I can see from your thoughts that you desire that girl. She has not strayed far from your thoughts since your last encounter.”

            His face contorts into one of shame and another apology is already upon his lips when his master says, “Do you want her enough that you would do most anything to obtain her?”

            Kylo Ren looks up at his master in surprise one more time and barely even notice it when the word tumbles out of his mouth.

            “Yes.”

            His master smiles, all sharp teeth and ferocity.

            “Then I trust that you will,” he tells him dismissively.

            “Lord Snoke?” Kylo Ren asks in confusion.

            “Your final task yes?” he prompts. “That girl is a powerful one. She will be a very useful asset to the First Order.”

            “But Lord Snoke, she will never come over to our side willingly…at least not now.”

            “Ah, young knight of Ren,” he smiles enigmatically. “But isn’t that what makes a lady so special?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah well, there you have it! Thank you for all the nice comments in the previous chapter. :) I really really appreciate your support hahaha. I really don't know how long this fic will take but I hope I'll be able to write good enough that you guys will stay with me throughout the whole journey! :) Yay! As usual, constructive criticism is always welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

III

            There is a palpable atmosphere of victory awash over the crewmembers of the Resistance, which Rey undoubtedly also feels. They had just won a great big battle against the First Order after all, a very crucial step in their journey to cleanse the Universe of the Dark Side.

            _But there can be no Light without Dark,_ thinks Rey as she gazes at the lush forests surrounding them from the starboard, _so is it really eradication they’re seeking or rather, just control…in which case—_

“Hey there,” Finn utters as a way of greeting, promptly interrupting her musings, which has strangely become increasingly analytical ever since their departure from the then-Starkiller Base. “Why don’t you join us for drinks over at the bridge? The guys brought in moonshine from Erdagh’n, a planet that is apparently very well-known for its alcoholic beverages.”

            Rey laughs. Finn’s newfound penchant for humor never ceases to get to her.

            _It must be the sense of belonging_ , she thinks.

            “Nah,” she turns around and redirects her gaze back to the greenery of the planet beyond. “I prefer it here…it’s serene.”

            Finn goes to stand next to her and follows her gaze.

            “I’ve noticed your penchant for forests and water,” he states matter-of-factly. “Every planet with green and blue in it that we’ve stopped by seems to entrance you so.”

            “Well, spending your entire life on a planet with nothing but sand in it makes you appreciate things like forests and seas,” she looks at him and smiles.

            “When are you going to see Luke Skywalker?” the ex-Stormtrooper inquires as casually as he can manage. (A hint of something else other than friendly curiosity still manages to make it in his tone though, much to his chagrin.) General Organa was the one to suggest the idea to Rey right after the battle on Starkiller Base. She thought that Rey had to receive some kind of training for her abilities, and rightly so.

            A small selfish part of Finn just wishes she doesn’t have to start so soon.

            “Tomorrow possibly,” Rey replies, clasping her hands on the steel railing in front of her, “when they’ve prepared a ship for me.”

            “Oh,” this time Finn allows himself to look at her, as in really look at her. She really is quite pretty…beautiful even. There is something ethereal and graceful about her that captivates him.

            He lets out a sigh that he doesn’t know he’s been holding back.

            “Then why not celebrate with us tonight? As a farewell?”

            She chuckles and looks him square in the eyes. He may not be overtly handsome but he is kind, something that the Universe is running short on nowadays.

            “Okay Finn,” she concedes. “Let’s celebrate.”

            -

            Poe Dameron is a man who likes adventure. In fact, he lives and breathes for it…but he was not always that way though.

His father was a simple farmer on an agricultural planet and his mother was a simple housewife who raised him and his three other siblings. At that time, Poe Dameron was just a responsible son who had no other ambitions other than to elevate his family stature however he can on a backwater agricultural planet. All that changed one day when the First Order’s ships landed and everything they had were taken away from them under the name of some obscure leader. His little brother, Ken, sweet young Ken had raced into the line of fire to save his father from the wrath of the Stormtroopers coming to confiscate their meager assets. After that, nothing was ever the same in the Dameron household.

His mother was inconsolable at the time. They were driven to abject poverty. His two sisters had to stop their schooling to help with the household expenses. He too had to work twice as hard as he used to in order to provide for his family. It had been almost a blessing when the Resistance started recruiting members on their planet.

_“Can you do manual labor?” the recruiter, a balding green man with two black dots on his face that serves as eyes asked. “We need a welder onboard to do repairs on the ships.”_

_“I can do much anything nowadays,” he had replied. “How’s the pay?”_

_“Enough to support a family. Meals are on us too.”_

_“Then I’m in.”_

Poe worked his way up into being a Resistance pilot and along the way; he had learned to love the cause they were fighting for and the adventure that came with it. He also started to yearn for it in fact. It also helped that he was now able to support his family without them having to make any more sacrifices.

The most important thing that he learned from that experience though was that happiness is a fragile, precious thing. Being sad about things doesn’t really help the situation so even in the direst of situations, Poe tries to smile and enjoy the little things in life that make people happy.

 _And one of them is well-brewed moonshine,_ Poe thinks giddily as he sips on the amber liquid. He watches from his perch as the other crewmembers fool around and laugh giddily. Even General Organa is partaking in the festivities. This is a celebration of victory after all, the first amidst many defeats.

He sees Rey and Finn climb up the steps to the bridge and waves them over with a smile. It hasn’t escaped him how Finn is drawn to Rey ever since they came aboard the Resistance ship. If what he heard was right, she had been the one to save him from a near brush with death in Starkiller Base, had carried him to the ship and made sure he got proper medical attention for his injuries.

To be honest, Poe really isn’t surprised about the chemistry brewing between the two of them.

“Hey there you two!” he exclaims cheerfully as they perch on either side of him. “Have you tried the drinks? They’re fantastic you know!”

“I was told,” laughs Rey. Finn excuses himself abruptly to get both of them a glass from the makeshift bar they made from stacks of crates and junk metal, leaving Rey with Poe.

“I heard your ship’s gonna be ready by tomorrow,” the Resistance pilot says matter-of-factly. “You heading out already?”

“Yep, at first light tomorrow,” she mouths a ‘thank you’ to Finn when he comes back with both their glasses.

“Was it the General who told you to head out so soon?” Finn asks the question he’s been meaning to ask since he found out she was to head out tomorrow. Poe almost fails to stifle his laughter at the indignation laced under the ex-Stormtrooper-cum-rebel’s tone.

“Not really,” she answers, “truth be told, I ‘m also kinda excited to see Master Luke.”

She chuckles a bit and takes a sip of moonshine then lets out a big smile.

“Whoa,” she mouths, holding out the glass of moonshine in amazement.

“I know right?” Poe winks playfully at the both of them.

“Like—wow! This is fantastic,” she turns to Finn and smiles warmly at him. “God, I’m glad I decided to join the festivities.”

“No problem,” he ducks his head to hide a blush and this time, Poe has to hide his guffaw under the pretense of having to take a sip from his own glass of moonshine.

Suddenly, music starts blaring out and officers and privates alike start to gather themselves around to dance.

Poe hops off his perch and winks at Finn in the “Bust a move man!” kind of way before going to the makeshift bar to talk to one of the pretty female officers who’s been eyeing him almost the entire time he’s been here.

He takes one last look at the two from the makeshift bar.

_Well, they look like they’re doing well._

-

Finn lets out a loud, half-drunken laugh. It’s sunset now and he reckons they’ve been here for at least two hours or so by now. They’re just finishing up their third glass of moonshine and he’s waiting for the right moment to ask her to dance with him.

“—and I told him ‘Well that’s my share of the portions and if you don’t bloody give it to me right now I’ll ram up your hunting knife so far up your arse you won’t be able to walk for a shoddy week!’” she reminisces in a light-hearted joking manner.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he gave you what you wanted,” he takes a generous gulp from his glass and feels the pure, earthy warmth of the alcohol slid down his throat.

“Damn straight he did!” she hiccups and he wonders why he can’t help but find it so endearing. Rey glances at her glass and notices it’s almost empty.

“Oh wow! I didn’t know I could drink this much.”

She laughs wholeheartedly and Finn swallows, suddenly feeling very nervous. The music keeps on blaring as more and more people start to dance and sway in an increasingly drunken manner. He sees Poe kiss a blonde officer out of the corner of his eye.

_God, I wish I had his guts._

“D-do you want t-to dance?” he blurts out as he feels nervous sweat break out at his back at the same time.

Rey laughs for the nth time this afternoon and nods, “Of course Finn! I’d love to dance with you.”

Butterflies instantly fill Finn’s stomach and he doesn’t know if he could feel any happier right now as he extends his hand to her. He sees Poe excuse himself from the girl he was snogging with and goes over to a red-faced officer and whispers something to him and suddenly, fast-paced electro turns into a slow, lilting tune that fills the entire bridge.

“Goddamn that Poe,” Rey says softly as she puts her hands tentatively on his shoulders.

“Agreed,” the ex-Stormtrooper chuckles as he slides his hands down to the small of her back, eliciting a small gasp from her.

They stand close enough to each other that both of them can hear and feel each other’s quickening heartbeat. Goosebumps start to rise on Finn’s flesh as she steps even closer to him and lays her head on his left shoulder. He inhales the fresh scent of her shampoo mixed with a scent that’s uniquely her.

“Thank you Finn,” she lifts her head to meet his dark chocolate eyes and he knows that he can’t possibly feels any happier.

They sway clumsily to the soft music as it is both their first time dancing with the opposite sex but neither really minds.

            In fact, it is quite memorable for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't possibly ignore the obviously intended romantic pairing in canon...so I decided to incorporate it into my fic. :) Wonder what Kylo would think though...


	4. Chapter 4

IV

            Salty sea air immediately fills Rey’s nostrils the moment she steps out of her ship onto the slippery rocky surface of the isle where Luke Skywalker has taken up residency.

            She marvels at the blue and turquoise extending in all directions. She has never seen so much sea and water in her entire life. Waves crash violently against the rocky cliffs below the flat surface where she landed her ship a few minutes ago before receding back into the sea of blue where they came from smoothly and peacefully, as if they didn’t crash against the rocky structure just mere moments ago.

            Rey sucks in one shaky breath and starts up the uneven stone steps leading up to the first Jedi temple where Luke Skywalker has taken up residence for the past few decades or so ever since Kylo Ren slaughtered an entire batch of Jedi trainees.

            _Kylo Ren._

Somehow, a part of Rey still shudders to think about him; about the torrents of emotions he makes her feel simultaneously when he’s nearby. He’s ferocious and diabolical, frightening even. But there is something about him that reminds her of her own loneliness, of a past turmoil that clamors for resolution.

            Secretly, she can’t help but feel a keen sense of sympathy for him. (Even though he murdered his own father and shunned his grieving mother…an unnecessary atrocity Rey still couldn’t quite fathom the purpose of.)

            She shakes her head, ridding herself of unnecessary thoughts (of thoughts of him) and chooses to focus instead on the crisscross patterns of jagged crevices on the stone steps carved by the wind and water, an intricate artwork that has yet to truly reveal its genuine beauty.

            Even from a distance, she can already feel the gossamer threads of Luke’s energy, binding and strong despite years of isolation.

            _If anything,_ Rey thinks, _isolation has only strengthened him._

Another crevice to his own intricate artwork.

            She thumbs the metal handle of the lighstaber tucked under her tunic and thinks about how it will finally be reunited with its master.

            Nervous anticipation floods her insides as the rustic stone hut in which a monastery resides comes into view. The wind whips about her slight but sturdy frame and dishevels her hair but she doesn't really care. (Rey never really cared much about her appearance. It's superficial and pretentious and had no place in the impoverished, simple life she lived on Jakku.) She can almost make out the dull cream color of a well-worn cloak billowing against the wind and her heart beats just a tad bit faster than it did just a few moments ago.

            Finally, she climbs that one last stone step and the man cloaked in the cream-colored cloak turns around slowly, revealing a pair of wise blue eyes whose hue is as blue as the seas that surround the isle.

            Rey reaches into her tunic and pulls out the lightsaber out with a surprisingly steady arm and looks him square in the eyes.

            _Hello Rey,_ she hears him say inside her head. The Force radiates off him in waves. _I’ve been expecting you._

“Then I suppose you know what I came here for?” she asks aloud, not lowering the arm in which she clasps the lightsaber.

            Luke Skywalker merely raises one arm and curls his fingers inwardly and before Rey knows it, the lightsaber frees itself from her grasp and makes its way into Luke’s.

            “Yes, I have been duly alerted by my sister, Leia,” he informs her cordially, voice raspy and coarse from disuse.

            He steps away from the edge of the rock surface he’s standing on and makes his way to stand a respectful distance away from her.

            “And she told me you were gifted with the Force, yes?”

            Rey nods mutely, a bit starstruck.

            “You’re quite strong. I already sensed your Force signature just before you were about to land on this island.”

            He then turns away from her, heading over to the rustic stone hut.

            “Come, I’ll show you your quarters.”

            Rey has to literally keep herself from hopping in excitement as she follows him into the hut.

            -

            “Hux!” Kylo Ren calls out as he charges into the training room where the General is currently overseeing the routine Stormtrooper drills.

            The General turns his blonde head away from the Stormtroopers that are marching on the ground below the steel platform on which they stand.

            “What?”

            “I need the list of moles we have on the Resistance,” the young knight says in a clipped monotone, metal mask firmly in place.

            “And why is that?” Hux challenges and Kylo Ren has to resist the urge to activate his lightsaber and cut a hole through the General’s ribcage.

             _Patience Kylo, all will be given to you in due time._

            “Master Snoke assigned me a task that requires the list’s necessity,” he replies evenly, a sneer calmly hidden behind his mask.

            The General seethes momentarily before silently nodding. Kylo Ren knows that the General hates it when he’s being kept in the dark, especially when it comes to Lord Snoke’s directives.

            “I’ll have it delivered to your quarters as soon as possible,” Hux grinds out before turning back to overseeing the squadrons of Stormtroopers below him.

            _That’s good enough for me for now,_ Kylo Ren thinks as he walks away from the General in measured, calculated steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your kudos and praises! :) I really do appreciate them. I hope that I'll keep you all pleased enough with my work to accompany me until the end. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! :)


	5. Chapter 5

 

V

            Cara Basinger is an average lieutenant among average lieutenants in General Organa’s army. She’s led a handful of successful coups as well as a number of unsuccessful ones. On most days, she’s an okay person to get along with. She’s not really the talkative type and only socializes just to show her peers that she’s ‘human’ and ‘normal’.

            But Cara Basinger is really not who she seems.

            -

            A tall redheaded woman slides open the rusted steel doors of her quarters and lets herself inside. Her assigned room is nothing special. It’s quite small really compared to other officer’s quarters, just wide enough for a bed, a table, and a simple plastic foldable chair to fit into.

            And really, she doesn’t mind. She’s a simple person and was never one to ask more from life than she had been given

            She pulls out her suitcase from underneath the small bed and unzips the front pocket, taking out a small, palm-sized comms device. She takes out the device to check for updates and directives from the First Order once every day.

            _And they don’t even suspect a thing._

She taps on the blank screen two times to activate it. The previously dark glass comes to life, revealing a blinking notification. She taps on the notification and opens an encrypted text file.

            She reads the latest directive in anticipatory silence. This has been her first directive in a span of six months and she has been growing restless lately.

            The woman smiles predatorily as she closes the message and shut off the comms device. She promptly stands up and makes her way out of the room.

            _This’ll be easy enough,_ she thinks as she shuts off the lights in her room.

            -

            _Empty your mind. Empty your mind. Empty your mind._

Rey repeats the mantra inside her head in a constant, pulsing rhythm as she focuses on the sound of her breathing.

            _The euphoric burn of moonshine as it slithers down her throat, Finn’s lopsided smile as she kissed him on the cheek at the end of the night…_

_“When am I going to see you again?” he asks, grinning like a fool in love._

_“Well,” she giggles as butterflies fill her stomach, “maybe in your dreams?”_

_“Oh, c’mon,” he laughs, “you can’t leave a guy hanging like that.”_

“So, who’s he?” Master Luke asks suddenly, interrupting her failed attempt at meditating.

            “Uhm,” she clears her throat, blushing at the fact that her mentor has caught her mind wandering again. They’ve been doing nothing but meditate the past three days after he showed her her quarters then had her settle down in her new dwellings and park her ship in the proper ‘parking spot’ in the stone clearing at the other end of the isle beside his ship. (The clearing where she parked her ship was apparently reserved only for training purposes.)

            “Well? He must be quite a guy to have you hooked on him like that,” the older, wiser man laughs, the sound throaty and foreign.

“I—uh—“ Rey’s blush deepens as she averts her eyes away from her master before adding softly, “Finn.”

            “Finn,” he repeats, rolling the word around his tongue as if trying it out for style. “He’s with the Resistance, yes?”

            She nods.

            “Sounds like a nice guy…I’ll be glad to meet him someday.”

            Luke smiles down at her kindly.

            “Yes…I’m sure he’ll be glad to meet you too,” Rey tells him honestly.

            Abruptly, the older man stands up and announces, “I think we’re done for the day. It’s time to fish for our dinner.”

            He smiles down at her enigmatically before heading off to the hut. Rey lets out a sigh before following him into the hut to get the fishing rod and bait she will need for fishing. The stone temple is quite a simple one as all official Jedis swore a vow of poverty so the whole place is bare except for a small wooden chest in the corner where they keep their fishing supplies and the polished, towering statue of the first Jedi in the center of the room. Opposite the entrance of the small temple, there is a staircase leading down to a small corridor containing small rooms that serve as the sleeping quarters of Jedi masters and trainees.

            “Oh Rey?” he calls out once they’re both inside the stone dwelling. “I think I’m going to leave you to your own devices tomorrow to meditate. Some of the Jedis I’ve trained find it easier to empty their mind when they’re alone…maybe you’re one of them.”

            She nods in assent.

            “And please,” Luke turns around once more before he goes down the stone steps to his quarters, “try catching a different kind of fish today…I think the fish you’ve been catching for the past three days is giving my stomach indigestion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and support! :) I'll do my best not to let your expectations down! ;) And remember...there's more to come.


	6. Chapter 6

VI

            A rough, tanned hand reaches out and takes the last packet of saccharine from the dispenser in the Resistance mess halland lays it on his breakfast tray beside a carton of milk.

They’re serving porridge again today, much to Finn’s chagrin. One would think that the Resistance’s selection of food would improve since their monumental victory over the First Order but apparently, General Organa or whoever it is that is in charge of the food selection doesn’t think so.

            _God, they’ve been serving porridge for a week straight now._

“Hey why so gloomy my friend?” Poe suddenly sidles up next to the ex-Stormtrooper, holding his own breakfast tray.

            “It’s just so irritating that they’re serving porridge again today,” Finn answers morosely.

            The ace pilot smirks. “Hm…you sure it’s not because Rey’s not here?”

            Finn flashes him a dark look as they make their way to their usual table, which he just shrugs off.

            “C’mon man, like admit it,” a couple of female pilots pass him by and flashes him a coquettish, ‘Hi Finn’, which he answers with an equally flirty grin. “I know you think that your whole courtship was cut short because she had to go train with Luke Skywalker and dude, you should know that I don’t blame you.”

            The other man just grumbles a snarky retort as he takes a seat, which Poe just gratuitously ignores.

            “You wanna talk about it?” he asks for the umpteenth time since Rey left four days ago.

            “No.”

            Poe sighs and watches his friend pick at his porridge with his plastic spoon.

            “It’ll really help,” he tries again after a few moments.

            The ex-Stormtrooper stops playing with his porridge and raises his head just a bit, as if considering the proposition.

            Finn swallows once, twice then lets out a sigh he didn’t know he’s been holding back.

            “I dunno…it just worries me you know,” he starts, “I know she promised me that she’ll visit once every week and that I can just talk to her through holovid but…I dunno, it just worries me—

            He trails off and Poe just looks at him expectantly, looking supportive and open and trying his best to make it seem like he’s not pressuring his friend.

            “It just worries me that one day, we’ll drift apart and then I’ll have blown my chance already.”

            “Geez Finn,” Poe looks the other man straight in the eyes while suppressing a knowing smirk. “Firstly, she’ll come back for you…that’s a sure thing. People like her know what it’s like to have no place to run to as a safe haven other than themselves…so once they have one, they sure as hell ain’t lettin’ it go that easily. Secondly…this all sounds ridiculously like some schoolboy who fell in love for the first time…is she like your first?”

           Finn flushes a bit at his last comment and looks away.

            “I’ll take that as a yes my friend,” Poe winks at him playfully.

            There is a stretched period of silence after that that reminds Poe distinctly of the quiet when one is trying to empty one’s bowels unsuccessfully in the bathroom.

            Poe hates that kind of silence so he clears his throat.

            Finn jumps a little bit at the sound.

            “Oh sorry, man, got a little buzzed off there,” he apologizes. He tears open the packet of saccharine and pours the white powder into his porridge then proceeds to pick at it some more.

            Somehow, that single movement reminds Poe of the comfortable silence during breakfast at his house during cool, damp mornings.

            “Are you still worried about that thing you’re worrying about?”

            The ex-Stormtrooper shrugs.

            “Maybe just a little bit.”

            “You’re impossible.”

            Finn flashes him a confused look that just makes him laugh until his insides hurt from laughing too much.

            -

            Cara Basinger hunches her head a bit lower as she takes a spoonful of porridge at the next table from the pilot and the defector.

            _So she’s with Luke Skywalker now eh?_

Only Resistance members with the highest security clearance has access to the information regarding the Jedi’s location and even then, there’s still a lot of justification needed in order to obtain it.

            Apparently, General Organa wants to keep the whole thing in the dark.

            _And that’s going to be a major road bump,_ Cara thinks ruefully. _But then—_

But then, Finn did mention that the girl invited him to talk via the holovid whenever he wanted to.

            Cara smirks conspiratorially as a plan forms inside her head.

            _This job isn’t so hard after all._

-

            It’s just after dinner when Finn walks to his quarters briskly. His hands are shaking with anticipation and nervousness. This is the first time he’s going to talk to Rey through the holovid.

            _I hope she’ s doing okay,_ he muses silently even though he knows that she probably is. She’s scheduled to fly over here two days from now and honestly, Finn can hardly wait.

            Rey is the first girl he’s ever fallen in love with, that much Poe got right. (He does admire the man’s deductive skills because even he didn’t realize it until the other guy said it out loud.)

            And he’s not going to let her go to waste, that much is for sure.

            He fishes out his standard Resistance-issued comms device from the backpack under his small bed and activates it. He activates the holovid software and contacts Rey.

            Finn lets out a breath the moment Rey’s face flashes on the holovid. She looks pleased to see him.

            “Hey Rey!” he squeaks. “How are things going over there?”

            “Well, it’s nice…as in really nice,” she answers with a twinkle in her eye, “I’ve never seen so much water before. It’s just…magnificent.”

            “Well, that’s good to know,” Finn tells her with a wide, toothy smile. He’s glad to see that she’s happy. “I can’t wait to see you Rey.”

            “Yeah,” she blushes, averts her eyes from his for a moment, “me too.”

            “I—I’m,” the ex-Stormtrooper stammers, “I’m sorry it took me this long to ring you up.”

            Rey tilts her head back and laughs, the sound akin to soft jingling bells to Finn’s ears.

            “Oh, I don’t really mind,” she smiles at him reassuringly, mirth clear in her electric blue eyes. “But frankly, I’ve been looking forward to this Finn. I never thought you’d actually get around to it though.”

            The sound of his name on her lips sends an unusual tingling sensation down his spine.

            “Me too actually, I guess I was too nervous initially,” he admits.

            “Well…I’m glad you did.”

            “Yeah.”

            There’s the sound of Rey’s name being called in the background, possibly by Luke, telling her that their dinner is almost cooked.

            “Oh, that’s my cue,” she chuckles, “sorry Finn, I gotta go.”

            “It’s okay,” he says hurriedly. “See you soon.”

            “You too.”

            They take a moment to look at each other’s eyes for a moment through the hologram before Rey cuts the communication line.

            A stupid smile spreads across Finn’s face as he deactivates his comms device and replaces it inside his backpack.

            _I can’t wait for tomorrow._

-

            Kylo Ren is meditating when his comms device beeps with a notification.

            “Oh this better be good or else I’m gonna show whoever it is that dares to interrupt my meditation a piece of my mind,” he grumbles to himself as he grasps the device in his hand.

            The young knight is acutely aware of his grandfather’s presence from across the room when a sinister grin breaks out in his features.

            On his screen are the coordinates of the planet where the girl, Rey, awaits…which also apparently happens to be the same planet where Luke Skywalker is hiding.

            He sneers. So that old coot is training what’s supposed to be his student. The young knight gets up from his perch and faces what remains of his grandfather’s corpse, a broken masked skull and murmurs a reverent, “I will not let you down one more time,” before exiting his quarters.

            He’s coming for her tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, Christmas season really kept me busy and all that. :) I hope this chapter was worth the wait though!


	7. Chapter 7

VII

            General Hux paces at the waiting room just outside of Lord Snoke’s study restlessly. Kylo Ren had commandeered a ship along with a handful of troops last night without his permission and took off to who knows where.

            And that is still considered insubordination as technically, Hux is still Kylo Ren’s superior as as he has not yet acquired the accomplishments to become the true master of the Knights of Ren even though the General does not have commanding authority over him and has to treat him as an equal at the same time.

            Still, this cannot be tolerated under any circumstances as the other officers or Stormtroopers might get ideas. (Although if the truth be told, he really really hates Kylo Ren’s guts and wants him safely out of the picture in the swiftest and most discrete yet still legal way in the eyes of Snoke at the same time.)

            So when Lord Snoke finally opens the doors to his study and ushers him in as a colonel that Hux really can’t be bothered to remember the name of exits, he is not expecting the knowing look he gets from the Lord.

            “I think I can safely assume that you are here to tattle about how Kylo Ren commandeered a ship and a small amount of troops under your nose last night?”

            The blonde freezes abruptly in his tracks and eyes his master warily.

            “You know of it?”

            “Yes, of course I know of it,” the older creature’s tone is admonishing. “Nothing goes on within the officers and the knights that I do not know of General Hux.”

            His master’s tone is already enough to make him flinch and bow his head at once.

            “Forgive me Lord Snoke for ever doubting your abilities.”

            Lord Snoke chuckles, the sound harsh and derisive and oh-so-like him.

            “It is part of the final stage of his training to become a proper master of the Knights of Ren,” is all Snoke offers before adding impatiently as if speaking to a stubborn child, “now is there anything more that you want General?”

            He shakes his head and keeps his eyes glued to the patterns on the carpet.

            “Then you are dismissed.”

            That is all Hux needs for him to turn around and head for the double doors with the intent of exiting the study.

            “Oh and General?” and with that, the younger man turns around. Snoke’s tone of voice is sharp and almost cruel when he says, “I haven’t forgotten the monumental defeat we suffered on Starkiller Base. It would do you well to ask for the assistance of Kylo Ren once he returns with his objective.”

            -

            Stillness, like the afternoon shadow, trickles into Rey’s consciousness slowly and silently. It caresses the walls of her mind like how a wave might caress the sandy shore on a calm morning.

            It’s the most euphoric feeling a person can ever get.

            But stillness is only a concept. Stillness can be a lush green meadow on a bright spring day or the cold, wintry whiteness of a sheet of snow in winter.

            Or it could be the evergreen forest of Takodana with its flowing freshwater rivers and springs and a slow, sweet kiss from a certain dark-skinned ex-Stormtrooper.

            _“I’ve never seen so much green in my life.”_

The familiar buzz of a lightsaber disrupts Rey’s thoughts at the same time with a loud clatter that sounds from upstairs. She grabs the new staff fashioned from rocks and precious stones found on the small isle that Master Luke gave her as a temporary replacement for a lightsaber until she is deemed ready to wield one and races out of her small, bare stone quarters and up the small staircase into the temple.

            The scene before her is infuriating and shocking at the same time. A towering masked man cloaked in the deepest shades of black is standing over Luke Skywalker, red lightsaber glowing and crackling against the harsh moonlight. Around Luke there are five more Stormtroopers all with their blasters drawn and aimed at her and Luke respectively. A cold sweat breaks out on her forehead and she resists the urge to wipe the newly formed beads away.

            “Hello Rey,” croons Kylo Ren in a deep muffled voice as he turns his head to face her. The pallor of Luke’s face reflects the red of his lightsaber as he looks at Rey with worried eyes. Rey shifts her stance into a fighting position and startles the Stormtroopers into shifting their stances too almost simultaneously, poised to shoot and kill.

            _How did he find her here?_

            “Oh come now Princess,” he teases, “you don’t want your precious Master here to have his guts spilled all over the floor do you?”

            She grits her teeth angrily at him. Why is he here? Why does he have to ruin everything good for her? She makes her thoughts loud enough so she’s sure that he could hear them.

            If he did though it probably means that he doesn’t really care, as he makes no indication that he heard her thoughts.

            “What do you want?” she snarls.

            “You,” the answer is unflinching and frank, so much so that it sobers Rey.

            “What?” her voice is hoarse and meeker than she intended it to be. There is no mistaking the fear that’s slowly making its way down her spine.

            “You,” he repeats evenly. Distantly, there is the sound of a storm brewing over the serene stillness of the oceans surrounding the small isle. “Come with me now Rey and no harm will come to your Master or anyone that you care about because if I take you by force…it’ll be a much much uglier scene.”

            Rey is speechless. She wants to say something in return, move her lips at least but no sound ever dares to come out of her lips. Luke tries to extend his hand out but only gets it stepped on by one of the Stormtroopers, eliciting a loud yelp along with a resounding crack. The other Stormtroopers who have their guns aimed at him huddle closer, their postures looming ominously above the old Jedi.

            “Don’t,” her master manages to croak out.

            “Old man do you want me to break your windpipe?” Kylo Ren threatens, his tone dead serious. Rey is quite sure that her hand is probably shivering right now.

            She locks eyes with her master, silently asking him what she should do. The older man looks at the deactivated lightsaber that no one has paid attention to and suddenly, she know what to do.

            “What’s it to me if I come with you?” she inquires matter-of-factly as she tries to focus her energy.

            “I could teach you a lot of things…show you to your full potential. Show you what true power is.”

            “What is true power then?” she makes her tone as believable as possible.

            “You will know when the time comes. I’ll guide you to it, guide you to your real destiny by my side.”

            His voice is passionate and she knows that he means every word he’s saying. When she’s certain that she’s already channeled as much Force as she can, she removes one hand from her staff and extends it towards the lightsaber but that’s just about as far as she got before she’s abruptly frozen.

            She tries again but to no avail. She can’t even move a single limb!

            “No!” Luke screams before Kylo Ren slices through his throat with his lightsaber, red mixing with red and splattering all over the stone floors and the white of the boots of the Stormtroopers.

            _This—this isn’t supposed to happen!_

She feels a crack form at the edge of subconscious as Luke’s pain mixes with her agony.

            That is the last sensation she feels before she blacks out.

            _You are mine Princess and nothing will ever change that._

-

            General Leia Organa seldom got sleep anymore these days with overseeing her army and fending off First Order troops at the same time. (And ever since she heard the screams of the fallen Jedi trainees that her son had butchered inside her head she knew that something had changed in her subconscious…something crucial and integral to her psyche.)

            It has been a rough decade or so for her.

            So restful, dreamless slumbers like what she is taking right now are treasured and appreciated as they come so sparsely nowadays.

            And she is happily making use of one of those until a snap resounds at the back of her mind, escalating into a loud noise that makes her bolt upright and heaving in large gulps of air.

            _Luke,_ is the first thought in her mind. The Resistance General jumps out of her bed and goes to her comms unit and contacts the officer handling the deployment of troops and spaceships.

            “Hello?” a colonel she knows by face but not by name answers.

            “Yes, uhm this is General Organa but I’m pretty sure you know that already,” she says hastily, only half-aware of what she is actually saying. “And I’d like you to send over a ship with troops and a med team over to Luke Skywalker right away.”

            “Uhm ma’am, are you all right?”

            “Yes I am, Colonel,” she mouths impatiently as she types the coordinates to her brother’s planet on her comms, “I’m sending the coordinates to you right now. Please make it fast.”

            “Yes ma’am,” the Colonel replies cordially, voice suddenly solemn and rigid.

            She cuts the communication line and collapses on her bed, the weight of all her responsibilities suddenly dawning on her.

            _I hope he’s okay. I really do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun! God Kylo Ren is such a meanie if you think about it but I'm sure he's got his soft side...I think. Poor Rey though. Btw, thank you for all the comments and support you've given me! I hope that we can continue on this journey together because I'm pretty sure it's still quite far from over!


	8. Chapter 8

VIII

            Luke is drowning.

            He tries to breathe in through his nose but little to no air seems to get into his lungs and he ends up gurgling blood instead. He tries to will himself to stay strong, to think of a way out of this as he coughs out more blood. His mouth is full of the taste of copper and he desperately wants to vomit. Blood is pooling all around him and he’s pretty sure Death is already on his or her way.

            _I never thought he would try to kill me._

And yes, it’s true. Luke Skywalker never thought that his nephew would try to kill him. (His nephew who had forsook the Jedi and broke his parents’ hearts, his nephew who forsook him and broke his heart.)

            Frankly, Luke doesn’t know why he didn’t see it from a mile away. He felt Ben’s ( _Benalwaysbentohim.)_ anger and hatred reverberating throughout the entire room even before he made his presence known, pulsing and beating like a war drum.

            _Funny how history repeats itself._

            But he felt something else too. Something like tenderness and loneliness laced in deep within the rotten saccharine of the Dark Side.

            Maybe that’s what had stopped him from killing the child.

            His child…his favorite Padawan.

            And now Rey’s gone and he can’t die. Not yet.

            _I can’t die yet._

“Luke? Luke Skywalker?” a frantic male voice asks. “Oh my god, get the med team in here now ASAP!”

            He feels two pairs of hands touch him, one lifting the back of his head at just the right angle so that it will help the cessation of the blood leaking out his throat and the other putting pressure on the gash.

            “Stay with us sir,” says a gruff female voice and just then he hears several more footsteps approach him.

            _“Okay—need you to—this—remove your—_

There is the distinct feeling of a thick brace being wrapped around his neck and him being lifted into a stretcher before he blacks out.

            -

            “How much blood has he lost?” asks Leia as she eyes her brother who is unconscious just a few meters away from her.

            “A lot…he could’ve been lying there for at least twenty to thirty minutes before they found him,” said Dr. Valerie Hemmings, the resident Resistance doctor. “Your brother’s quite strong to have survived that long. Most people would’ve died already by then from suffocation.”

            Leia nods, tears stinging the back of her eyes. She refuses to cry. She simply does not want to break down in a room full of subordinates.

            _Haven’t I lost enough already?_

She takes a breath to steady herself before speaking up once more.

“Was there anyone with him when they found him?”

            “Oh,” the doctor knits her eyebrows in confusion. “I—I was told he was found lying alone in the temple. Was there supposed to be anyone?”

            Leia’s blood ran cold as the ramifications of the incident start making more and more sense to her.

            The General does not grace the question with an answer. Instead she just simply turns around and walks away.

            -

            Rey wakes up to a familiar scene.

            She is in one of the interrogation rooms of a First Order ship, strapped down by metal binds. Kylo Ren is in one corner of the room observing her, watching…waiting for something to happen.

            “Glad to see you’ve woken up,” his voice sounds menacing to her.

            “Yeah? How long have you been there? Look, this whole thing is sounding a lot pervier to me by the moment just so you know.”

            Kylo Ren chuckles, deep and malicious.

            “Well, you do look cute when you sleep.”

            And coming from him, yeah it does sound quite pervy.

            “What do you want?” Rey asks because she is currently at a loss for other words. He chuckles, deep and malicious.

            “Haven’t you asked that question before?”

            “What do you want?” she repeats, more firmly this time as she lets the anger and indignation she is feeling seep into her tone.

            “Oh, I don’t know…a lot of things actually. A myriad of things actually.”

            If he gets any more vague, she’s sure that she’ll break out of these binds in anger and sock him in the gut.

            There is fire in her eyes when she finally growls out, “Answer the bloody question properly please.”

            She deliberately let sarcasm drip off the word _Please._

He promptly removes his mask before leaning in to her personal space until their faces are only inches apart. And to top it all off, he was smirking! (At that moment, there was nothing in the world that Rey wanted to do more than to sock him in the gut just to wipe that smirk off his face!)

            He looks her in the eyes and she has to stop herself from squirming in discomfort as she forces herself to look back. He was disarming. The whole situation was disarming. She feels the tendrils of his Force wrap around hers in light, gossamer touches and suddenly, she knew what to do.

            She locks the tendrils of her Force with his tightly and dives into the inky depths of his mind. This is the second time she’s been here. The last time was an accident and she had barely felt it when their Forces connected.

            But it’s a whole lot more discomfiting when it’s deliberate. (Not that his mind wasn’t discomfiting the first time around.) It’s different when you’re knowingly diving into the inky depths than when you just stumble upon it then drawn out of it all at once.

Her mind’s eye scans the familiar yet unfamiliar landscape of his thoughts for the answers she seeks.

            _He observes her from a distance through the tall trees in the forest of Takodana. She is swift, graceful as she weaves through the thick undergrowth._

_She looks frantic, worried and he wonders inwardly what could cause her to worry so. He sees a flash of an aquiline nose and high cheekbones though he can’t get a good look on her face._

_He can’t help but feel something radiate from her, something familiar, something powerful._

_“The girl I’ve heard so much about.”_

_He is in the interrogation room aboard the First Order base. He watches her, as she lies strapped down on the inclined metal bed. He can still feel that unknown energy radiate from her only stronger now that it’s only the two of them in this confined room and there are no outside factors to dampen that heady scent._

_She wakes up a few minutes later, disoriented at first then alarmed and guarded the next. He feels every muscle in her body coil into a tight spring and starts circling her menacingly, keen to inflict any measure of horror upon her. He wonders if he can make her scream like he did that last Resistance member._

            _—know I can take whatever I want._

_—so lonely—so afraid to leave…at night desperate to sleep—_

_—not giving you anything!_

_“We’ll see.”_

_“You’re afraid you’ll never be as strong as Darth Vader!”_

_Then suddenly, they’re in an altar and around them are forty or so men and women, all dressed in dark cloaks. They’re standing in the middle of a circle filled with archaic symbols and patterns._

This is not a memory anymore. This is an aspiration. A dream _._

_Heart and soul bound as one through Death and beyond. Force conjoined together…a bond no man or woman can ever break._

_I pledge my whole life and essence to you._

Rey reels from the sudden retreat of his mind from hers, the emotions and memories weighing heavily on her mind like a ton of bricks. It’s disorienting and alarming at the same time. She’s never felt so out of control yet so in control at the same time even though she knew he only let her see what he wanted her to see. She felt it in the back of her mind as she sifted through his thoughts. The sensation was akin to a firm hand secured tightly on her shoulder to ensure that she wouldn’t get lost.

            _Get lost in his mind?_

“Now, do you know why?”

            His grin is almost teasing as he looks upon her, their faces still mere inches away from one another.

            “I’m—you want the power I have to give.”

            But that’s not all is it?

            The young knight cocks his head to the side.

            “You—you want the power we can share…together. Your Force and my Force…combined. United as one. You want us united as one. Bound.”

            She swallows once and blinks, steeling herself for what she’s going to say next.

            “Like in marriage.”

            For the first time, a genuine smile breaks out on his cold features.

            “Yes, Princess. That is precisely what I want.”

            He closes the gap between them and plants a kiss on her shocked lips.


	9. Chapter 9

IX

            “What? What do you mean that there was no one?” demands Finn in a loud, booming voice that makes Poe jump.

            “Y-yes sir th-the island was deserted…no one to be found,” the young Resistance member says shakily, cowering under the man’s scorching gaze.

            “Finn,” Poe puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder; who’s now currently pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “This won’t do us any good…getting angry I mean.”

            Finn turns around to face him and the ace pilot flashes the scared young man a small smile as a cue to take his leave. He does so without hesitation.

            “How could this happen?” Finn groans as worry etches itself in deep valleys across his forehead. The General shocked them all with the news this morning that Luke was found near-death in the Jedi temple and that Rey has all but disappeared off Luke’s isle. Finn had demanded that they send another recon team over there immediately to recheck and had even insisted on going with them but was ultimately dissuaded of it by Poe, who persuaded him that he’s going to be more useful in-base than out.

            “I know she’s not dead though,” Leia continues. “I can still feel her Force signature although…I just can’t pinpoint where she is. But she’s safe…I can assure you that.”

            The ex-Stormtrooper visibly relaxes.

            _Good,_ Poe muses, _he’ll need a clear head for this._

“We’re sending scouts to different areas of the system to see if anyone had a sighting of her if ever she was kidnapped,” the General states evenly. A soft, reassuring smile spreads across her lips as she puts a comforting hand on Finn’s shoulder. “And we also have some recon teams going around Luke’s planet searching for her. If she’s around, we’ll find her.”

            The dark-skinned man nods, brows still furrowed in worry.

            “Just make sure to keep an open mind soldier,” she adds before walking away to inspect the officers’ drills taking place. There is no mistaking the slight tremble to her usual evenly paced step.

            There is a moment of stillness, of silence as Finn stares out over the horizon at the endless forests and mountains that surrounds the base on one side. He can’t help but ponder about the tragic beauty of the lush growth.

Majesty is nature personified, beauty and architecture in a constant flux at a pace incomprehensible to the eyes of the layman.

            This is the first time Finn truly grasps the passion of the art unfolding all around him. This is the first time his heart finally beats because of it.

(Now he understands why Rey’s heart beats because of it.)

            In the back of his eyes, he imagines her as she glows against the ethereal light reflecting off the greenery as she admires it.

            A tear slides out of his chocolate brown eyes.

            “Finn, are you okay?” the worried voice of Poe cuts into his consciousness, snapping him into reality like a chain dragging him to the ground.

            “Yeah, yeah,” he wipes the droplet of moisture away, slightly embarrassed that he actually cried in front of his friend.

            Awkward silence settles between them like a heavy cloud of a rainstorm and lasts until one of them (Finn isn’t really sure who) decides to break it by saying, “Let’s go to the mess hall and grab some sandwiches shall we?”

            And they do. The cook is serving egg salad today. They sit on their usual spot and talk about things not related to training or the Force or Luke or Rey as they munch down their snacks.

            There’s no denying the heaviness in Finn’s gut that just grows heavier though.

            -

            A slow smile crawls over Lord Snoke’s lips as he watches the steady gait of his disciple striding across the study towards his desk.

            “My Lord,” he bows respectfully but the excitement is nigh palpable in his movements. “I have brought her here…safe and alive and well-bound.”

            The superior creature gets up from his chair and walks over to stand in front of his student.

            “Have you also restrained her Force?” he asks. “A Force-sensitive that is quite as gifted as she is can’t be simply left alone.”

            “Yes my Lord,” he replies confidently as a grin curls his lips upward, “I’ve also established the initial links to both our minds so I would feel it immediately if she tried anything suspicious. All we need is the wedding to officiate it.”

            “Good, good,” Snoke hums approvingly, sending a flood of pride through Kylo Ren’s stomach, “but we’ll need at least a day to prepare for the ceremony.”

            “Thank you my Lord,” the young knight bows once more.

            “You are dismissed,” the superior says curtly and Kylo Ren rises to his feet and begins making his way out of the study.

            “Oh, and young knight?” Snoke adds and Kylo turns around. “That ritual will also serve as your final step into becoming the true master of the Knights of Ren. There is but only a few people of the faction that has made it this far…and none as young as you.”

            A sinister, triumphant smile makes its way across the dark-haired man’s face.

            “Thank you, my Lord.”

            _I look forward to seeing her during the ceremony._

            -

            A loud thumping can be heard from one of the interrogation rooms in a certain First Order ship as a very impatient woman struggles against her metal bonds as she tries to centralize her Force into breaking free from her binds.

            It is a very strange feeling for her, being unable to channel her Force at will. The sensation is akin to having a big, hard wall at the surface of your thoughts. It is disconcerting and uncomfortable at the same time. Grating even.

            And she has a distinct feeling about who’s doing this to her.

            After all, there is only one person in the entire galaxy that she could think of who has something to gain by blocking the use of her powers.

            She sighs.

            The futility of the situation is crashing down on her like a wave upon a stony cliff, violent and rapturous.

            Tears threaten to spring out behind her eyes but she refuses to be weak, refuses to cry…especially because of him. Two Stormtroopers stand by the entrance, unmoving and still, gaze a thousand yards away. If she could just free herself of her mental restraints, she would be out of here in no time.

            But alas, Fate will not be kind to her right now, that much she is certain of.

            She stiffens as she hears the familiar thumping of footsteps heading towards her cell. A smooth hiss comes from the automated doors as it slides open to welcome the Master of the Knights of Ren.

            “Hello my lady,” he croons softly. Rey cringes at the pet name. _Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting._ “How are you feeling this fine day?”

            “Judging from the fact that I’m once again shackled to a metal rig in a ship under your command,” she spits out venomously, “I’d say I’m doing mighty fine.”

            The man clad in all black laughs, the sound sinister and hollow to Rey’s ears.

            “Well, if it’s of any consolation, you won’t be shackled here tonight Princess,” he says with a waving gesture of one gloved hand.

            “Oh yeah? And where would I be shackled instead?”

            The young Jedi-to-be immediately regrets asking the question as she watches a sly smirk spread across this deranged dark knight’s face.

            “Do you even have to ask?”

            _What. The. Actual. Fuck._

“If you think for a sec—

            With a wave of a hand, Rey’s head slumps forward and her posture relaxes as her breathing slows to a deep, even rhythm.

            _There you go my darling bride._

Kylo Ren unlocks the shackles with his Force and scoops Rey up into his arms bridal style in one swift, graceful movement.

            _I don’t want you looking tired during the ceremony._

-

            There is the sound of a sharp intake of breath as a white-haired man jolts into wakefulness in a large, high-ceilinged room. Slumbering, idle bodies in metal beds surround him, some sporting some kind of nasty injury, some just about to finish recovering from a previously nasty impairment.

            He blinks his eyes once, twice, trying to get his bearings back. He feels dizzy, lightheaded, and extremely parched. A glass of water would be a big comfort to him. Moonlight streams in through the windows in scattered rays of light.

            _Where am I?_

The white-haired man reaches for the ringer by his bedside and presses the plastic button. He doesn’t know why he does it. It just feels like the appropriate thing to do.

            He tries to stand up but immediately realizes that he can’t unless he wants an earsplitting headache to contribute to his current discomfort.

            _Why am I here?_

Snapshots of events suddenly flicker through his eyes, making him remember.

            _Azure surrounds the isle on all sides, endless and ever shifting. It’s majestic and beautiful in its own right._

_Nature at its finest, he thinks as he looks around. A dark-haired girl, Rey, is sitting on a rock outcropping, staring out into the waters around her._

_He is reminded of his youth, his idealism with her._

_Then all of a sudden, there’s blood, lots of it._

_The girl’s face is contorted into one of fear as a flash of crimson floods his vision._

_“No!”_

_Luke Skywalker. I am Luke Skywalker. The last Jedi._

The man puts a hand to his temple as fear and worry and _regret_ settles deep into his gut.

            _I should’ve killed that boy when I had the chance._


	10. Chapter 10

X

            “General,” a distant voice calls out softly to her from far, far away.

            _“Han, I don’t wanna go back,” she whispers to her paramour, to the love of her life who is leaning atop her with golden sunlight streaming down his hair, making his hair glow otherworldly._

_They’re lying atop soft grass in an evergreen meadow of her dreams, where she and Han are forever young, set into an alternate reality where life never tore them apart from each other and turned them into something withered and bitter. (But not hopeless. Never hopeless.)_

_Han Solo presses a kiss on her smooth forehead._

_“But darling, they need you there,” he says in a deep baritone, “your army needs you there.”_

_“They can get by with themselves for a few more minutes,” she reaches out a pair of unwrinkled hands to clasp Han’s face but he just leans away from them as he smiles softly at her._

_“Go back Leia. People need you there more than I need you here.”_

“General Organa?” a familiar but not too familiar masculine voice ekes out.

            She rouses smoothly and gracefully from her slumber, albeit with a hint of heaviness in both the literal and figurative sense. She knows that this officer has ample reason to rouse her from her aestivation. After all, she has already an inkling of what it might be. News. Could be good but probably not or maybe most commonly…a mixture of both. She has held the rank of General long enough to know that there is no speck of black or white in this war. Just darker and lighter shades of grey.

            Aside from that, she has been sleeping longer hours recently, a newfound fact that she doesn’t know what to feel about.

            “I hope you have had enough of a reason to have woken me up Admiral,” she reprimands anyway because a selfish part of her wants to be back in that meadow of eternal youth and spring. (Or to be more precise, back in that meadow where her dead husband is waiting for her, lying in the moratorium of her mind.)

            The aged but not too aged Admiral Statura runs a hand through his tired face and tries to feign composure. The slipping on of the mask is fast, but Leia is faster. She glimpses it, the lack of sleep, the worry, the anxiety, the stress of having to look after the fates of men and women who are as vulnerable and independent as the Universe herself

            _It would probably be all and well if I issue a degree of leniency amongst my ranks._

            “Yes, I am pretty sure your brother having woken up is ample enough General,” he says respectfully but it is quite hard to miss the edge in his voice that marks mild irritation.

            Leia rises up from her bunk at once, the remains of sleep having been struck from her thoughts completely.

            “Where is he?” she inquires calmly albeit firmly. “Does anyone know that he has woken up?”

            The Admiral shakes his head.

            “Just you, me, and the doctor who tended to him,” he replies. “He’s waiting in one of the converted conference rooms. It’s a good thing that the doctor had enough sense to call me once he roused.”

            “You had him transferred immediately and discretely?”

            “Yes, all of his medical apparatus is in his new room with him. I anticipated your want for discretion.”

            The General manages a smile.

            “Thank you Admiral, I appreciate your foresight.”

            He nods once before adding politely, “Shall I accompany show you to him now?”

            “I would appreciate that.”

            -

            _“Rey, Rey, my love.”_

The Jedi snaps out of the chambers sleep in a rough jerk. Irises blown wide and heart pounding, she looks around her wildly, trying to pinpoint her location.

With a heavy feeling in her gut, she takes in the heavy draperies; the bare walls and floors save for a blood red carpet at the foot of the grand four-poster bed and a polished oak table with something on top of it…

            _Darth Vader’s skull?_

She looks at the burnt out shell of a helmet and broken skull and resists the urge to vomit.

            _I see that you have woken up._ the unmistakable, deceptively smooth timbre of Kylo Ren’s voice echoes in the recesses of her skull, a soft, lilting susurrus.

            An unexpected shiver travels down her spine as she draws her legs closer to her form. Everything about this situation feels wrong and she feels absolutely horrified. Rey closes her eyes and prods her mind for a solution, for a way out. There are no doors in the room, or at least no doors that she could currently discern from the almost pitch black darkness.

            The Jedi feels her heart sink. Coupled with the darkness, it’s going to be hard to navigate her way out of this predicament with someone inside her head.

            She sighs and tries to find a way out again, all the while ignoring the dead skull staring back at her from the table across from her. (Because really, a skull?)

            _Just give in my love. Then you will be set free._

She slaps her temple with the palm of her hand, trying to will the dark knight’s voice out of there.

She hates him, loathes every fiber of his being. Whatever pity or sympathy she had felt for him before has gone because how dare he? How dare he take away her freedom from her like that? How dare he kill her Master, her mentor and steal her chance to achieve her rightful destiny just out of some selfish whim she can’t even fathom the nature of?

            _Blood, blood, so much blood…_

_Screw you Kylo Ren! Screw you to the last of the Sith!_

Tears of frustration prick the back of her eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. She will kill him and avenge her Master that much she is certain of.

            She refuses to allow his death to be for naught.

            She will not be weak. She won’t allow herself to be.

            Rey blinks away the moisture from her eyes and with newfound resolve, resumes searching for a way out of this room.

            She cannot resign herself to Kylo Ren’s intended fate for her.

            She does not want to.

            -

            “She’s been kidnapped by Ben?”

            Luke Skywalker looks away as anguish cripples his sister’s elegant, aristocratic features. The conference room-cum-recovery room is metallic and rusted, patched up from scrap metal and sturdy screws obtained through barters and scavenging. No natural light is allowed to filter into the room due to the absence of windows so the only source of illumination comes from the sterile fluorescent lights that hang on the ceiling of the room. (Leia wanted it to be as private and as mobile as possible for security purposes.)

            “It was the last thing I saw before I blacked out,” he adds sorrowfully. Clear lines of sadness streak through Leia’s face as her mouth turns downwards. Luke wishes there was more he did more to stop the boy. He wishes that he hadn’t been so…sympathetic at the time.

“How,” the General finally half-whispers in a rough voice, “how did he know where to find you?”

            The Jedi master eyes his sister apologetically when he says, “I don’t know.”

            She places a hand on her clammy forehead and shuts her eyes tightly, perfectly shaped brows furrowed in thought.

            They stay like that for a few minutes. Eventually, his sister visibly deflates and sighs.

            “We’ve got a leak among the ranks,” she rubs a hand over her face, trying to smooth out her face into the stern mask she wears it in nowadays.

            Luke worries, not just about his sister but also about what everything’s doing to them, and seethes internally. He angers at Ben _KyloKyloKylo_ for refusing to see the truth, for refusing to go up against his dark side and combat it.

            _But isn’t the Skywalker line half-Sith too?_

“So what are you gonna do about it?”

            Leia turns to him, hooded eyes and all.

            “I’m gonna do what’s supposed to be done.”

            -

            Poe Dameron shifts in his feet as the General eyes the people around the table quizzically. There is a spy within their midst, that much was certain. The ace pilot himself had a feeling about that too, before…way back when they first received news that Luke was found wounded and bleeding profusely on the altar of the Jedi temple…but he never considered it seriously until right at this precise moment.

            _Life is but a series of precise moments after all._

“We are going to do random inspections of quarters,” the General is speaking, her voice booming and authoritative but Poe is only mildly aware of it. He knows the drill, knows what usually happens when the Resistance is undergoing “extra security measures”. (There’s the discrete inspections of quarters, usually done when the occupant or occupants are not present, the tracing of outgoing communication signals, and the debriefing of high-ranking officers and trusted members of the Resistance about the matter as courtesy, as a warning that no one is exempted from this, not even them.)

            This is not the first time this happened.

            The ace pilot looks over at his friend, who is sitting beside him with a faraway look on his face. He nudges him lightly to snap him back into reality. He hasn’t been himself lately and honestly, Poe can’t blame him. He doesn’t blame the guy for yearning for the woman he’s in love with. It’s normal. It’s just instinct after all to want to protect your loved ones and to blame yourself if you fail to do so.

            Just basic human instinct.

            Still, Poe can’t help but worry for him.

            “Hey, you okay?” he asks worriedly for the umpteenth time.

            The darker-skinned man nods mutely, only partially disentangled from his thoughts.

            “Ladies and gentlemen, is that understood?” asks Leia.

            Poe looks away from his friend just as a simultaneous echo of, “Yes ma’am,” sounds from numerous male and female voices.

            “Then you are dismissed.”

            They promptly stand up and head out of the room.

            “Have you eaten?” Poe inquires lightly.

            “It just bothers me…the state of affairs taking place,” Finn tells him flatly, “a spy in our midst?”

            “It’s happened before, I don’t see why it can’t happen again.”

            “I simply cannot understand why someone would even want to help the Sith in what they want to do to the Universe or what they want to accomplish in general.”

            “Don’t ask me my friend,” he laughs dryly, “I don’t understand it as much as you.”

            He sighs.

            “I’m scared Poe…scared for her, scared for us, scared for everything.”

            The ace pilot pats his friend reassuringly on the back.

            _Courage is fostered between two people immersed in the same dire circumstances. And through those dire circumstances only do they see their true potential._

            “You haven’t eaten,” Poe trails off slightly. “Then I supposed you’re hungry now?”

            A loud rumble answers the pilot’s question for him.

            -

            Cara Basinger observes.

            It is what she does best, thus her role in all of this.

            _If only they knew what she knew._

She smirks to herself, a subtle gesture of self-congratulation.

            A slippery slope to tread that is.

            People in varying uniforms and overalls, some dressed in officer’s clothing like hers mill about the mess hall, whispering about one thing or another, usually just some fruitless rumor about their peers.

            How woefully gullible they are, so much akin to an army of ants following their Queen. Petty, blind, and pathetic.

            She takes another bite off her meat pie.

            -

            Rey wipes the sweat off her brow as she tries to pry open the set of double doors she found behind the heavy curtains when she pulled them apart an hour ago, or was it two? It’s hard to tell really. Time is a slippery concept in a dark, windowless room.

            It doesn’t budge and sadly, she is unsurprised. She has tried everything in her power since discovering the hidden entryway, from utilizing her abilities in the Force to brute strength.

            Nothing seems to work.

            _Nothing’s ever gonna work Rey,_ Kylo Ren’s voice is taunting, mocking, pounding inside her skull like mallet.

            She screams silently, lets all the frustration that has gathered up inside her into one, singular force that she aims at the voice inside her head. She wants to deafen him, to inflict the same measure of torture he has inflicted upon her.

            But it’s not enough. It will never be enough.

            _He killed Luke. He kidnapped me._

 _Rey, stop it! Stop it!_ The voice orders in a harsh tone but she doesn’t. She wants him to feel her hatred coursing through every fiber and neuron found inside his strong, lean body.

            _I hate you! I hate you!_ And that is wholehearted, truthful and sincere.

            The double doors suddenly burst open and Rey catches a glimpse of a well-lit hallway before darkness floods her vision again. A tall, dark menacing figure moves swiftly towards her as she backs away, startled. He is swift and purposeful, his strides long and angry.

            “What are you playing at my love,” he inquires maliciously as his long digits clench around her throat and pins her down onto the bed.

            Darth Vader’s skull serves as a haunting and horrific backdrop.

            She flails and struggles and tries to free herself from his grasp, but he is too lithe, too swift, and too strong for her as of the moment. She hasn’t eaten, hasn’t drank water since she came to in his interrogation room. Her strength has been depleted considerably by her struggles. Moreover, him inside her head has drained her of her emotional and mental capabilities. She can’t hold him back, physically, and or mentally.

It vexes her, angers her to be rendered helpless.

The mattress is soft and pliant under her as she writhes and thrashes with the remainder of her energies. He shifts his weight on her in intervals, trying to get a strong hold on her to stop her attempts at freeing herself.

Lights suddenly illuminate the room, blinding her for a few measly moments but just enough for him to incapacitate her struggles. Darth Vader’s helmet glints against the light.

“You have to rest my love,” he says through gritted teeth. His fury is apparent through the harshness of the lines on his forehead. “We can’t have you looking tired on the wedding day.”

The hand around her throat tightens into a viselike grip, like a cobra entrapping its prey. She holds her breath, tries to stay cognitive and lucid for just a few more moments.

But all was for naught.

She hears the calming sound of flowing water as darkness consumes her whole.

-

Hux hates this place. He hates everything about Mustafar. It’s an aberration to the senses. And frankly, the intense heat that clings to the planet triggers an irrational fear inside him.

It’s just like Kylo to pick such an inconvenient place as a setting for his wedding.

Volcanic lava flows in from all directions and the General could feel the heat emanating from it through the soles of his boots, searing and visceral even through the leather. Distantly, a priestess, a withered old lady with wrinkled skin and bright eyes, chants an incantation to “purify” the large archaic symbol they had carved onto the stone that they’re standing on right now. Something about strengthening the energy to solidify the bond even more or some gibberish like that.

Hux pities the girl that Kylo intends to marry. He knows that she was Luke Skywalker’s trainee and that she was part of the Resistance. He doesn’t know what she looks like though or what her name is and frankly nor does he care.

But no one deserves to marry a man like Kylo, a prime example of deranged and delusional snowballed into one.

He hears a loud, reverberating boom that makes him jump.

The General turns around in obvious vexation, ready to lash out at the cause of the sudden ruckus.

“General, it’s done! The high priestess has successfully purified the Bonding Circle,” one of the officers says as he eyes the glowing symbol.

Hux pinches his forehead and goes over to where the priestess is standing. This whole punishment is giving him a headache. (Snoke knows just where exactly to hit to hurt the most.)

Good thing it’ll be finished by tomorrow.


	11. Chapter 11

XI

A blonde man in standard private’s overalls slides into a room discretely and quietly. He is a man of average height and build and as is the trend with most Resistance members, orphaned. There is nothing utterly remarkable about him other than his unquestioning loyalty towards the General, which in itself, is a prerequisite for all Resistance members.

He has no wife, no son, no sister, or distant relative that he knows of that can distract him from the Resistance’s sole purpose to restore balance to the Universe slowly being overrun by darkness. He is the perfect soldier.

Or…almost perfect because there is no such thing as perfection in a flawed, imperfect Universe.

But there are things more imperfect than he is, such as a certain officer bearing the rank of a lieutenant who is now currently the prime suspect of…something. (Privates aren’t really told much about the whys of their orders.) There have been unusual signals being transmitted to and from her quarters as of late. And in this war, things like those cannot just go ignored.

He scours the room with deft hands, feeling every nook and cranny of the cramped quarters. He searches under the table, feels the dusty underside of the plastic foldable chair and comes up with nothing. He proceeds to open the drawers of the table and finds again, nothing.

Then he finally gets the idea to search under the bed.

With a firm, calloused grip, he pulls out the backpack hidden under the bed and opens every zipper and pocket he could find until he pulls out something that resembles nothing like a standard Resistance-issued comms device.

He activates it and sees a new notification blinking on the screen.

_Make sure they don’t get any ideas about where to find the Resistance girl until the ceremony is finished._

Bingo.

-

Dawn streams in through the cracks of Rey’s eyelids, coaxing her out of her slumber. She is lying on a soft bed with silken sheets and embroidered lace trimmings. A matrimonial bed, she realizes after a pregnant pause.

She slowly puts herself in an upright position. Her body is sore all over and her neck feels bruised and tender as she touches it but nevertheless, a part of her feels reenergized. Rey turns her head around to take in the high ceilings, the crystal chandelier hanging precariously in the middle of the room, the polished hardwood floors, and the lush red curtains adorning the bay windows overlooking a field. There is a grand, ornate desk by the wall across one of the windows with a tray filled with food on top of it.

How did she get here?

The last thing she remembers is Kylo Ren clamping down a hand on her throat and choking her into unconsciousness, his wild, furious eyes frightening as they bored into her as her tired body struggled against him, and Darth Vader’s empty eye sockets drilling holes into the side of her face.

Her stomach growls and suddenly she gets a sense of how hungry she is. She hasn’t eaten since waking up shackled to that metal rig in one of the interrogation rooms in Kylo Ren’s ship.

The Jedi trainee swings her legs onto the cool hardwood floor and pads over to an oak desk where a steaming breakfast tray has been laid out for her. Beside it, she notices, is a headless mannequin wearing a flowing white gown with red floral patterns sewn into the bodice. Hunger temporarily forgotten, she reaches out a hand to touch the soft fabric, relishing in the smoothness of the cloth. Small precious stones are sewn into the lace patterns of the gown’s sleeves, making the dress shimmer against the light. Rey traces a finger over the dip of the sweetheart neckline and wonders how it would look on her. She’s never seen or worn something this exquisite before.

“Do you like it?” a smooth masculine voice asks, making her jump a little.

She turns around and trains startled eyes on the chiseled face of Kylo Ren. His hair is slicked back and tied into a neat ponytail at the base of his head and he’s wearing a different set of robes today, navy blue with gold trimmings and hand-embroidered silk patterns which clings gracefully to his lean form with every minute movement he makes. The clean shiny leather of his boots glints against the sunlight and makes soft thumping noises against the hardwood floor as he takes a few steps closer to her.

Rey opens her mouth to say something but no words tumble out.

“I had it rushed you know,” he says unsurely, eyes glowing brightly against the sunlight. Rey has never seen him look so tender before.

He shuffles his feet a little, seemingly nervous before asking again, “Do you like the dress?”

“I—I,” she stammers, her lips suddenly feeling like lead. “It’s beautiful.”

He looks at her with a certain fondness in his eyes that she’s never seen before and for a moment there, she glimpses a sweet boy who cries when his papa goes away for long periods of time and laughs when his mama makes gurgling noises whenever she feeds him vegetables.

It almost makes her want to cry, to see him, this—this supposed monster as something other than a monster.

Doubt, like the sickening feeling it is, creeps down her throat and spreads all over chest like an incomprehensible virus, multiplying in number by the second. And it irks Rey how she couldn’t reconcile the man who tried to choke her to death last night to this shy boy who wants nothing but her approval.

Though if nothing else, Rey is brave and she refuses to let her feelings cloud her judgment.

“Are you really going through with this?” she gulps down all the uneasiness clogging up her guts with one single movement of her throat.

“Why? Is it the dress?” his voice is filled with dread and apprehension…but for all thing wrong things. “I can have it fixed in a short amount of time if there’s anything wrong with it.”

“No, no!” she almost shouts, shaking her head from side to side. “There’s nothing wrong with the dress. I told you it was beautiful.”

The dark knight cocks his head to the side confusedly before realization finally dawns on him like the morning light.

“Yes, we are going through with this and when I mean we, I mean we, Rey,” his tone shifts into something more than a snarl and Rey has to stop herself from backing away from him. The shift in the atmosphere is apparent and frightening in its abruptness.

“Why are you doing this to me?” her voice is hoarse with unexpressed anger and indignation.

“You know why,” he rebukes and he almost sounds apologetic, almost.

He closes the remaining gap between them and plants a quick, chaste kiss on her lips that leaves her frozen and uncomprehending

“Now eat, I can feel your hunger even from across the base.”

-

Finn puts his head in his hands as he watches from behind a tinted glass window the interrogation of the very snitch who had his Rey get stolen away by a twisted man who murdered his own father in cold blood. Anger boils up in him uncontrollably. Anger for that spy, anger for himself for being unable to protect her, anger at everything that conspired to make this happen.

There is nothing more that he wants right now than to rip the throat out of that redheaded woman.

How ingenious though her disguise of normalcy!

There is and was nothing suspicious about her. She resembled an everyday, run-of-the-mill lieutenant of the Resistance whose only desire is the restoration of the Universal balance. No one could have suspected!

 _“I ask you again,”_ Poe’s tone sounds stern and furious, _“where is the wedding to be held?”_

Finn grits his teeth in frustration. Marriage. Marriage? Kylo Ren’s madness knows no boundaries.

_But why Rey though? Why Rey of all the First Order ladies willing to jump into the Knight of Ren’s lap?_

One thing’s assured though, once he finds the guy he will tear him apart limb from limb until there’s nothing left.

 _“And why should I tell you Poe?”_ she spits out his name venomously and the ex-Stormtrooper is certain that the pilot is absolutely livid even without looking.

 _“Because something far worse is waiting for you after this pleasant conversation if you don’t offer up something substantial right now, believe me,”_ the threat was imminent and sincere. The Resistance will not hold back on this one, especially since she was the one partially responsible for the endangerment of the life of the last Jedi and the kidnapping of another.

He feels Leia shift her weight onto her other leg beside him as one of the few second-in-commands she brought with her today whispers something in her ear. Luke Skywalker is ashen-faced in the corner of the dimly lit room, eyes focused but unfocused on the scene unfolding beyond the big rectangular glass. He had demanded to be brought here to see the spy that had caused all this trouble.

The redheaded woman, Basinger her uniform reads, gulps down a lump in her throat and flicks her eyes from side to side as a show of her sudden unease. Finn secretly rejoices in the fact that they were able to make her feel that way. (To feel how they felt when they discovered that one of their own has been kidnapped.)

 _“Okay, what’s my deal if I tell you,”_ she leans in close to Poe when she asks this, her voice suddenly gone soft.

 _“We will hold you for a few days and after all this has been settled,”_ Poe gathers his breath before continuing, _“set you free without a single scratch on your back. Then you are never to return here again or else we’re going to kill you.”_

The snitch seems to mull this over as her forehead wrinkles into a crease.

_“And if I don’t?”_

_“You’re a lieutenant. You must’ve participated in one or two of the post-interrogation afterparty. You know the drill. Either way we’ll get what we want.”_

This seems to rattle her as unseen memories flash in front of her eyes. The Resistance is not proud of what they sometimes have to do in order to get their way but desperate times call for desperate measures and this war has been a desperate cause from the very beginning.

There is a lapse of silence as the now former lieutenant considers her options. Her expression is dire and hooded, maybe even afraid and Finn can’t help but feel a little pity for her.

But just a little.

A heavy exhale of breath can be heard over the speakers as she makes her decision.

_“Mustafar.”_

-

With one gloved hand, Kylo Ren accepts a square velvet box wrapped in a beautiful red bow from his Master, who looks at him with such pride that he’s never seen before.

“Tell her to wear this to the ceremony,” he explains. “Inside it is a necklace, a very beautiful one made from the most precious stones all over the galaxy. I’ve been saving it as a prize for a knight worthy of such a gift. And I am glad that I have found him.”

Kylo Ren felt his insides fill with such pride that he wasn’t able to hide the big grin that broke out on his face.

“Thank you my Lord.”

“Although you must know that she won’t be able to take that off until after the ceremony…it is charmed so that she won’t be able to refuse to take the vow of bonding,” he pauses once to look him in the eye before adding, “It is but a precaution Knight of Ren. I have great faith in you and in the girl and what power she could bring the First Order. I don’t want any hitches.”

The dark knight beamed triumphantly. All of his aspirations are finally coming together! All the years of hard work and training are now over and all that’s waiting for him are the rewards.

“But then…there is a way to break a charm and I will tell you this as a warning,” the superior says, his tone shifting to take on a graver note, “if another groom would dare to challenge you and wins…you will have no choice but to hand her over to him. Do you understand that?”

He nods as he takes in his master’s words.

“Now go and resume your preparations,” Lord Snoke dismisses, “Mustafar is waiting.”

-

There is a wall inside Rey’s mind, a tall, impenetrable wall made of concrete and steel and everything impregnable. It is blocking her Force, her abilities like how a dam blocks water from flowing out.

It’s uncomfortable at the very least and infuriating at the very most.

And she has a decent conjecture as to who is blocking her Force. There is only one person who stands to gain something in doing so anyway. She has tried everything she possibly could in destroying the thing that is blocking her from channeling her Force but it’s like attempting to count blades of grass. Her efforts are eventually proven futile and useless.

So Rey utilizes the only option she has left.

She plays along with whatever game Kylo is playing and watches out for an opening, for a chance she could take to get herself out of this mess.

She slips on the gown, eats her breakfast then boards the ship with a dozen or so Stormtroopers escorting her. (Apparently, Kylo isn’t so certain that she won’t try anything funny.)

Her guards escort her to a private room inside the humongous ship they are in where Kylo Ren is seated in a chair with his back to her. He’s holding a pretty velvet box on his lap.

“I was afraid you’d escaped and the Stormtroopers had failed to get you in the ship,” he says in a low voice.

 _Well that’s kind of hard to do with you blocking my Force,_ she thinks and makes sure it’s loud enough in her thoughts for him to hear it.

If the comment offended him, he made no indication of it.

“Come, sit beside me,” he says, gesturing to the seat beside him.

Rey gingerly makes her way over to the seat in careful, measured steps. When she has adjusted herself into a fairly comfortable position on the chair, he opens the velvet box and holds out what seems to be a shiny, glittering choker inlaid with different precious stones, some of which she has only seen in rich merchants’ wares and some of which she has never even seen before.

“It’s my gift…to you,” he tells her kindly and she sees the same fondness in his eyes that she has only seen once when he was asking about her wedding dress just a while ago.

She almost feels guilty looking at it. Such an ostentatious gift that she doesn’t even deserve.

Rey opens her mouth to speak but before she could even utter a word, Kylo has clasped the necklace around her neck.

“See? It looks beautiful on you,” he says with a triumphant glint in his eye. Rey suddenly felt an immense feeling of calm wash over her, quieting her mind, soothing her nerves, and taking away all her inhibitions and worries making her feel relaxed and at ease.

_She’s floating in a calm sea. The sky is a beautiful azure above her and the wind treads light touches upon her skin. Everything is so far away. Far far away like they don’t exist._

_Someone touches her hand._

_It’s Kylo Ren._

_No…Ben. Ben Solo._

_And he’s looking at her like she’s the most precious person in the entire Universe._

_She smiles._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! We're almost at the end...and I'd like to thank my loyal readers for being with me from start to finish. :) It's been a great journey and I appreciated all your comments and kudos. :) It was really fulfilling writing this story for you guys! I hope we can see each other again in future works. Also, I'd like to apologize for delaying the wedding chapter one more time. It just seemed like a lot to put in one chapter. XD I promise I'll update really soon.


	12. Chapter 12

XII

            It’s the most important day in Kylo’s life.

            His heart is beating fast, his hands feel clammy and cold as he walks down the path between thirty or so hooded Siths arm in arm with the love of his life.

            An intricate pattern of poems of love intertwined with artwork fills the bonding circle waiting for them. Once they’re standing in the middle of the circle, a hunched cloaked figure hands them two bowls filled with wine and nods as a signal for them to speak their vows.

            Rey’s necklace glows otherworldly from the light emanating from the volcanic lava surrounding them.

            Admittedly, he has to commend Hux for finding a rock big enough to fit them all. He did a pretty good job arranging this wedding.

            It’s just as he planned.

            “Heart and soul bound as one through Death and beyond,” he starts excitedly, a slight quiver at the edge of his tone betraying his eagerness. “A bond no man or woman can ever break.”

            “I pledge my life and essence to you!”

            The bonding circle glows with a supernatural energy as the cloaked figures all around them chant something ancient and indecipherable in unison.

            Rey’s dull, faraway blue eyes look over at the chanting figures in brief wonderment, half-entranced by something unseen.

            Kylo Ren uses one gloved hand to nudge at his bride, snapping her out of her confused stupor.

            She looks at him and tilts her head to the side, awaiting a cue.

            “Say the vow,” he whispers.

            With that, she nods slightly and begins to say her own vow.

            “Heart and soul bound as one through Death and beyond…”

            -

            Finn is furious. He feels wrathful, angry, and infuriated all at the same time.

            And most of all, he can’t wait to get his hands on Kylo Ren and smash him into pieces.

            _That hateful wretch!_

Poe pilots his X-wing expertly and smoothly through the First Order ships guarding the planet. General Leia had insisted on bringing a fleet of ships with them to rescue Rey. And apparently, they had overestimated.

            Turns out, the First Order wasn’t expecting them to know about this venue, let alone bring an entire fleet! Poe maneuvers through a couple of blaster fire as Finn brings down some of the ships that are giving chase to them.

            “Brace yourself,” Poe warns from the front, “we’re going to land.”

            And there it is.

            The ex-Stormtrooper feels the downward pull of the planet’s gravity as his friend begins the descent into Mustafar.

            -

            There is warmth surrounding her. Pure, vanilla warmth wrapping itself around her like a shawl.

            And everything is at peace.

            _Say the vow,_ says a voice, a small but stern voice that only wants to be obeyed.

            _What vow?_ She wants to say but it doesn’t come out that way. Instead, words, sentences that are not her own tumble out of her own lips like she means it.

            _No, no. This can’t be right!_

She wants to stop herself. Stop whatever it is that is happening to her.

            And suddenly, it isn’t warmth that is surrounding her anymore but another voice. This one is insistent, panicky and it seems to be calling for her.

            She tries to reach for it but the other voice, the stern, commanding voice orders her not to move.

            Rey is confused. Something entirely beyond this is wrong.

            _Rey! Rey! Rey!_

_No, stop! Stop it!_

She blinks away fearful tears from her eyes. Nothing makes sense anymore because somehow, the warmth isn’t comforting anymore.

It’s cruel and suffocating and she wants to get out of this place.

She blinks again one more time before gathering up her strength. A flash of reality hits her eyelids momentarily before disintegrating like sand slipping away through the cracks of her fingers.

Rey takes a deep breath and tries again and this time, the image stills. She is standing atop a large symbol carved to the metamorphic rock below them and surrounding them are people in all black. She looks up to the sky and sees nothing but ash and crimson as lava hisses and sizzles all around them.

And Kylo Ren is staring at her intently.

_What am I doing here?_

“Rey!” the panicky voice calls out again and she whips around to see two men writhing as if in pain. One is dark-skinned and the other is tanned and has shoulder-length dark hair.

“Rey!” he repeats.

“Don’t mind them honey,” says the man standing closest to her. “This is our day.”

Something clicks inside her and all of it just comes crashing down like a tidal wave. Rey blinks repeatedly as memories flit through her eyes, unraveling in a mockery of a slideshow.

Rey feels enraged, violated, and very, very frightened.

The dam in her mind breaks.

-

An unforeseeable Force just milliseconds after he realizes what had happened shoves Kylo Ren to the floor.

He reels and tries to get his bearings back just as Resistance members start firing at them from ships hovering above and the ridges of rock surrounding them.

“What is the meaning of this?” Snoke rages just as the hooded figures start to draw their respective blasters and lightsabers tucked away under their robes.

 _Ben, please it’s not too late,_ a voice that could only belong to his mother (No, not his mother. He has no mother.) whispers in his head. His bride in her flowing dress is rushing away from him to help her friends. _You can stop this madness Ben. You can be cured._

Kylo Ren covers his ears as he tries to shield himself from the ensuing chaos around him and inside his head. This is not what he had in mind. This is not what he had planned.

_Ben, please. Please come back to me._

The Knight of Ren takes a deep breath and exhales, partially extinguishing the fires alighting his nerves.

_The only thing I had to be cured of was you and your husband_

He stands up and heads toward his bride.

He has a wedding to finish after all.

-

Poe looks on in horror as none other than Kylo Ren manhandles Rey towards the large bonding circle. He looks angry and half-mad as he drags her away despite her loud protests and the battle going on around them.

There is a distant hiss of a ship departing and he looks up just as the First Order leader Snoke finishes going up his ship with the blonde General.

_Cowards, cowards the lot of them!_

The elder probably realized that they’re vastly outnumbered right now and made a hasty getaway.

He tries to stand up, to at least be more useful but Kylo Ren’s unmistakable Force drags him back down. The ace pilot looks to his friend and sees that he is having similar problems with getting up.

“Say the vows!” screams Kylo Ren as Rey blatantly refuses to give in.

_Just hold on a little longer Rey, please._

-

He is insane.

He is half-mad.

He is dangerous.

He is weak.

He is Kylo Ren.

Angry tears stream down Rey’s face. She hates him. She hates him so much.

But she fears him all the more. She fears the madness inside him, spreading like an infection and annihilating everything good in its way.

She grits her teeth and delivers a blow to Kylo Ren’s stomach that loosens his grip on her. Survival is her top priority right now.

Rey narrowly dodges a blast as she moves to put more space between her and him. She is going to fight him.

And then she is going to kill him.

He deserves that much.

“Okay, so is this how you want it huh? Rey?” he yells as a lock of dark raven hair falls to his eyes. He bats it away furiously. “Then it is what I’ll give you!”

He extends his arm and splays his fingers, summoning all the Force he can to the tip of his hand. But Rey’s stronger. And she always will be.

The dark knight is knocked to the ground once more.

“And this,” she whispers like a dark promise inside his head, “is what I’ll give you.”

She is angry. So so angry.

Kylo Ren is not going to get out of here alive.

She pushes him toward the precipice of the rock and stops just before he falls into the sizzling lava below.

The Jedi trainee walks forward in calm, measured steps, her eyes blazing. She twists her fingers and abruptly, he is kneeling before the lava, his back to her.

Strong, lean arms encircle his neck in a viselike grip that is just on the verge of choking him and he can’t move a muscle.

There is the sound of blaster fire and saber colliding against saber all around them as the volcano’s essence flows all around them, ready to devour anyone who would fall into it.

“Give me one very good reason that I should let you survive.”

She is deadly and strong and he knows that the threat in her tone is very real.

“I wanted to have all of you,” he replies and he is honest despite the betrayal and rage he is feeling.

“Wrong answer.”

-

There is no comfort waiting for him in death.

Only pain and fire and the smell of ash.

Kylo Ren screams.

-

Finn feels the weight of the Force holding him down disappear. He cranes his head just to test if it really is gone before standing up to his full height and going over to Rey with Poe trailing after him.

He doesn’t have to ask her what happened when he sees her ashen face. Doesn’t have to.

He saw the whole thing from the periphery of his vision.

And he doesn’t really blame her. (Because him, of all people?)

The ex-Stormtrooper puts his hands on her shoulders and brings her closer to him and further away from the lava and the now-burning corpse being dragged away by the volcanic essence. The blaster fire stops along with the sound of clashing sabers.

They have won.

Drops of moisture wets his leather jacket as Rey finally speaks out in a coarse tone, “I killed him.”

“I know.”

There is a lull filled with pain and love and everything in between before Finn makes them both stand up.

“Where are we going?” Rey’s voice is but a whisper when she says this.

“Home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! So this is it. This is the end of our journey. I had lots of fun writing this...and of course, again, it was really a pleasure writing for you guys! I'd love to do it again in the future. So anyway, Ministrations is finally complete and all that's waiting is the epilogue coming maybe next week! Stay tuned and sound off in the comments below if you have got something to say! :) As usual, kudos if you liked it! And for those Reylo shippers, I'm sorry about the ending. I just felt that it would do Rey a lot of justice if she killed Kylo because really, he was being a complete a-hole. I personally am not a big believer in those "Love will change you" stuff and all that. But it doesn't really stop me from pitying him too though. He was a sympathetic character for me and always will be.


	13. Epilogue

_Thump thump thump_ goes the soldiers’ boots as they jog on the uneven ground.

It’s quite unnerving for Rey, being back home after all that’s happened.

She can’t help but feel unnerved about everything.

For her, nothing feels like they should anymore.

Aside from that, there is also the guilt that comes with returning, among others.

She killed Kylo Ren _BenBenBenSolo._

She’s never killed before and it feels like she committed an egregious error.

Murder is something she truly can’t digest.

Rey doesn’t talk to anyone about it, not even Finn when he offered his shoulder to cry on. She knows that _brat_ deserved it, had it coming to him even.

And yet…

_And yet…_

It’s like there’s a gaping hole inside of her, a space where something used to be, something crucial, something that made her who she is, something that went away when Kylo Ren died. (She wants to laugh and scream at the sheer irony of it.)

(She yearns.)

Luke gives her an entire month off from Jedi training, said she needed rest and time off to regain her footing.

(He couldn’t be more wrong. She doesn’t need rest or time. She needs a distraction from the phantom pain inside her.)

Then there’s also the shame.

It comes like the afternoon shadow, deadly and cunning. It comes in Leia’s haunted eyes and Luke’s wan smile.

(It comes in the way Leia’s eyes refuse to meet her own or the way Luke tries not to mention Kylo Ren _alwaysBentohim_.)

Most of the other Resistance members silently revere her for killing Snoke’s most treasured protégé who also happens to be a formidable Force user. (“The more First Order brats are eliminated, the better,” the whisper through the halls in hushed voices, careful not to offend the General.)

That doesn’t stop the shame though.

And lastly, there’s the dreams that comes along with the faint but steady beating melody at the back of her mind that sounds suspiciously like a heartbeat.

Sometimes she dreams of him in his navy blue robes, furious but gloriously alive and other times she dreams of him making love to her in their matrimonial bed.

It frightens her immensely and makes her wake up in cold sweat, ready to spew out the contents of her dinner the night before. (It makes her pale and sick with passion and guilt and everything else in between.)

He has left an imprint on her, something that she wouldn’t be able to shake off…not in this lifetime.

And she hates him for it.

-

Kylo Ren falls into the pit a man, insecure and full of weaknesses and emerges out of it a god that is worthy, learned, and fearless.

The fire cleansed him, made him something powerful and frightening.

 _Apotheosis,_ they call it.

(That girl _Rey_ transformed him into something worthy.)

 _“My student, look at what that girl has done to you,”_ he hears Snoke’s raspy voice permeating through his subconscious. He is no longer burning.

He is no longer screaming.


End file.
